THE SACRAMENT OF MARRIAGE

In the Roman Catholic tradition we recognize marriage as a Sacrament. That is, a practice identified by Jesus, which enriches the Church community. Thus, this Sacrament means more than a wedding rite; it designates the lifelong relationship of husband and wife. Matrimony is not so much what a couple receives as what a couple becomes. It follows that marriage has enduring significance for the entire membership of the Church. It is not exclusively or even primarily a private matter having to do with the couple's welfare. As a Sacrament, the couple assumes a community responsibility to exemplify Jesus' love for his people by their love for one another.

Therefore, when two people marry, it becomes an important moment for the Church community. The Church has a responsibility to assist couples in preparation for life together. This serious preparation cannot be presumed because of previous participation in religious education, Catholic school, or collegiate programs. A special program for your particular marriage is important to address the unique needs you have as a couple.

The following are statements from the Pastoral Marriage Preparation booklet:

The church is a caring community with a deep respect and concern for all her members. With this policy the Church community is saying to the couple: We, the community to which you belong, care about you and your future marital happiness. We want to assist in the ongoing growth and development of your marriage. We want to expose you to the sacredness of the union between man and woman; the depth of spirituality that goes with true commitment. A couple about to covenant themselves to each other in the sacrament of Matrimony should have a deep awareness of the essential characteristics of Christian marriage: permanence of the union, creative fidelity to each other, and openness to children. They should recognize that in their love for each other Christ himself enters their covenant through their mutual ministry.

The human reality of marriage grounded in faith, becomes a Sacrament — a sign — of the mystery of unity and fruitful love which exists between Christ and the Church. The Sacrament of MATRIMONY involves the commitment of two persons who love each other, to create a new and shared life together, and the living out of that commitment which ordinarily will involve the nurturing of children from that union.

The couple are the ministers of this Sacrament; the priest is the Church's witness. Due to the seriousness of the Sacrament of Matrimony and the life-long commitment it entails, the preparation process at St. Francis begins by inviting candidates for the Sacrament of marriage to consider the following:

The months before a wedding are usually a time of intense planning for the "big day". Here are three things not to overlook in preparing for a Catholic wedding:

• In the Roman Catholic Church the bride and groom are the ministers of the Sacrament of marriage. The bride and groom exchange vows to each other. The priest or deacon serves as the church's chief witness; he does not "pronounce them husband and wife." Other roles in a Catholic wedding include two additional witnesses (traditionally the "best man" and "maid of honor"), lectors to proclaim the scripture readings and intercessions, music ministers to lead the assembly's singing and if the wedding takes place within Mass, and additional ministers of communion (as needed).
  
  
• Some things are essential for a Catholic wedding. Others are not. Essential things include the scripture readings, homily, statement of intentions ("Have you come here freely and without reservation?"), consent or exchange of vows, and nuptial blessing. Things that are not essential include seating guests of the bride on one side of the aisle and guests of the groom on the other, keeping the Marriage bride and groom apart before the wedding, unrolling a white aisle runner before the entrance procession, lighting a unity or wedding candle, and placing flowers before a statue of Mary.

There are no spectators at a Catholic wedding. The bishops at the Second Vatican Council made "full, conscious, and active participation" by all worshipers "the aim to be considered before all else" in liturgy (Constitution on the Sacred Liturgy, 14). Just as at Sunday Mass, certain individuals fulfill various ministries within the wedding liturgy, but the entire assembly of worshipers celebrates the liturgy. When you go to a wedding, listen attentively to the scriptures the couple has chosen, sing the music they have selected, respond to the prayers in a strong voice. The enthusiastic participation of the entire assembly of worshippers is the best gift anyone can give to the couple on their "big day."